PAMELA JO BOWMAN – MESA ARIZONA–Sometimes, when I am talking to people, I really believe I know what they are thinking by how they react physically and by how they say what they say. As a screenwriter, I have been taught that 95% of the story is carried in the nonverbal, in the visuals. Only 5% is in what the characters say. Some screenwriting teachers like John Truby say the same is true in “real life.” I really believe that.
Often, in conversation, when I ask others to clarify their actions, a brave companion will smile and ask, how did you know that? More frequently, a companion denies my interpretation. When that occurs, I doubt myself and I become troubled.
When others deny what I feel is their true feelings and thoughts, I often feel like I can’t trust my instincts. They are saying I am wrong. They know what they are thinking, but there is a nagging reluctance to believe them. Is it that they don’t know what they’re really feeling and thinking? Or perhaps they are unwilling to acknowledge what is true? Perhaps they want to keep their Johari Window closed.
In the end, I have to decide, do I believe what I think and feel or do I believe what they say? I usually deny myself and trust in what they say. Time usually proves that I should have trusted myself.
I find it disheartening that so many people are unable to accept what is so. I find it very difficult when those I value never entertain thoughts that might bring clarity to themselves and others.
How could I be so wrong about those I should know almost as well as I know myself? I do not believe I am wrong. I respect the individual so I believe what others say. It is difficult because I know what I feel in my heart.
Open up to the possibility that you will still be valued, still loved, still wanted if others know you. Accept what is so.