It is interesting to listen to my children argue. Invariable the guilty one will bring up old hurts or point the finger to anyone in order to slide away from acknowledging their contribution to the situation.
I on the other hand have been reprimanded that I too willingly accept responsibility for everything. “Pam! Why do you do that?” My response? “The buck has to stop somewhere. If people don’t feel defensive then they might be more willing to own what really is theirs.”
Why does it seem that everyone always has to be right. If you are right then it follows that someone is….wrong. It seems to me that there should be room for just different.
I don’t want to be blamed for your bad choices and I don’t want to blame you for mine. The choices aren’t diminished or excused. They could be examined and learned from. I would hate to think peoples’ opinion of me is based on someone else’s denial to own what is theirs. I would also hate to have people think highly of me when it is others work or effort that really should be acknowledged.
Here they come again. “Mom, look! Look what I found in my bathroom! He left it there!” Great! Now they are providing evidence. Look who’s wrong now!